I'm so confused.
Very very confused.
I don't know if I should be happy or not with what I have learned about someone recently. I don't know if I should rejoice or be sad knowing that he is a playboy.
I get disappointed easily. But I should have been disappointed by now that he is a major playboy. But the fact is, I was and now I am not. He may be or may not be playing with my heart. He may or may not be flirting with me. But that's only my perspective because I have not yet seen him flirt with other girls although I have heard him appreciate and lust for pretty ones.
I think he treats me like how he treats his guy friends. Because he shows his true self with me. I don't think he flirts with me because he badmouths in front of me or I am the subject myself. Oh he does do show some care. Like helping me in little things that even i can do independently. There was one time when he helped me with the stuck ballpen and he helped me too when i can't open the phone casing. There was this one time when i was sick, he lent me his jacket and he even went through to the rain to get me water. And when there are times when I can't sleep and I bother him, it is just okay with him. He sometimes carry my things. And most of the times, he walks me to my jeepney stop to see me off. Now tell me, isn't that sweet, gentle and caring of him?
I can't help it, I am falling deeper in love with him. I look forward to meeting him in the business center. Damn, I'm even looking forward to his text messages even if it's business related. He brightens my day and I always laugh around him especially when there's only the two of us. And it's getting harder to push away these feelings because all people who have seen me with him always ask if we are lovers or the like. They say we are very compatible with each other. Some think that we are meant for each other. Can't deny it. We think of each other as money trees. haha. But bottom line is, what people have said only feeds my desire to pursue this 'love'.
What's harder is I have fallen in love with him more because of what his bestfriend told me about his past relationships. He was serious with them to the point that he cried for them. He even showed respect to them by not going physical. His torpeness made him much cuter too me.
I don't intend to fall in love with people I make business with. I'm doing my best to keep our relationship strictly for business. In fact, I'm treating and thinking of him only as a friend and only that. So, I'm doing whatever it takes so that he will never find out that I have or HAD (hopefully sooner) feelings for him.
SO HELP ME GOD!